2. I Helped Myself.

    Here one more incident to appreciate men's good tactics which would be with good fun.

    For one son-in-law in a village" Ghee " is his all time favourite dish.It means whatever dishes he has, in it " Ghee "must be predominant for him.He is known as " Ghee Man the Great ".He is such a crazy man who has the ability to turn any dishes into the    "Ghee Related Dishes ". For his own sake his own house has a good number of cattle.So he reigns his " Ghee Department "as good and as elegant as possible.

   In villages,the people are having a good rapport with each other as they are known to each other for generations.So the people in his own street who happens to prepare some Ghee related dishes,the first call would come for him to taste the dish.His maternal and paternal relations never interfere his " Ghee Kingdom ".In fact they do their best to help him to rule his " Ghee Kingdom " elegantly.

   But when it comes with the relation of his wife part,they are not comfortable with this," Ghee Man the Great "character.Usually at villages,there are so many festivals, big or small are being celebrated throughout the year and the sons-in-law are often being invited along with their loving daughters as the gesture of respect.But this "Ghee Man the Great " would not be invited for any sort of  festivals at any cost.It is an open secret it seems.

    But his parents-in-law are very tactic to make him believe that as if he has many tight schedules to handle,he would find no time to visit all this sort of festivals.His friends are teasing him by saying that as his parents-in-law don't have sufficient Ghee for this " Ghee Man the Great ", they put  forward this lame excuse. Even his wife with no bothering,maintained the same lame excuse and she
rejoices herself very well by celebrating all the festivals at her birth place with her loving children and leaving behind her loving husband.

   As usual one such grand festival arrives.Fortunately it falls on the day,where the " Ghee Man " has the opportunity to attend this festival along with his family.As there is no other go,his parents-in-law invited him.He made his entry.

   The festival was indeed very grand.But his festival meals were not as grand as he expected.He didn't see any form of entry of his very favourite Ghee in any form of dish.His disappointment was beyond any explanation.Keeping his ' Son-in-law respect'  aside,he asked his mother-in-law for some Ghee." Oh dear! sorry! I totally forgot.Your favourite Ghee would be on its way".Then she went inside and brought a moderate size earthen pot,which was with full of Ghee ( but it was not melted ) and turned the pot and inclined it down completely just above his plate as if she drained all the Ghee into his plate and told with all fake concern in her voice," Help yourself my son"  and kept the pot by his side as if it was her son-in-law's own choice to have as much ghee as he could have.

   His wife was at the other side of the room as if she was busy with  the children,taking no care of her loving husband.Poor son-in-law.His stay over there for three days, it happened so.The fourth day he had to leave for his own village.The grunted son-in-law didn't know what else to do with this uncivilized family.

   The fourth day the mother-in-law laid the table.As usual, she
brought  the same earthen pot filled with not melted ghee and just held the pot and as if she was streaming down the whole ghee just above his meals.And kept the pot by his side and uttered the same dialogue," Help yourself my son " with the same fake smiles in her face.At that time God showered a good mercy on this son-in-law.Somebody outside gave an emergency call for her mother-in-law.She went out.Her daughter also accompanied her.When the son-in-law peeped through the window, he came to know that it would take some minutes for them to come back.

    The son-in-law acted quickly.He took the earthen pot and darted into the kitchen and managed to melt the whole ghee in the pot, in the morning ever green burner of the earthen stove.Then he brought back the pot with the melted ghee with good care and kept it by his side and took his seat as innocent as possible.The uncivilized hosts came back.With a good humble request the son-in-law pleaded,"some more ghee please! ". " All ghee is yours my son",his mother- in-law took the ghee pot and as usual held the ghee pot down.The whole melted ghee streamed down and filled her beloved son-in-law's plate to his heart content.

   The son-in-law looked into his mother-in law's face and with all real sparkling smiles in his face and with such a pride,he told " I  helped Myself very well Mom!as you told me ".  

    

    

1.Good Tactics of Men

Done

   In our country side this sort of fables and parables are well known ones.One such parable.Here it goes.

    One good rich man was destined to a selfish woman in the name of marriage where the cordial relations of husband and wife are supposed to be maintained as good as possible.But here in this family,the lady inclined to her birth place unconditionally and resorted to a total neglect of her husband's family.Her husband was unaware of it as he was working in a foreign country quite a period of time. 

    When he got back to his home town to settle down,he came to know all these unfortunate facts.The man had a lovely sister.When he visited her,he came to know about her poverty and her poor state of inability to get any sort of help from her sister-in-law in the absence of her loving brother.

   She said," My dear brother! once I went to seek some help from your wife,she didn't even ready to offer me some good meals.But I didn't understand the queer reason she put forward  for her inability to prepare some food for me".

   Perplexed brother wanted to know about that queer reason.His sister continued ,"Your wife said," I am unable to offer you some food.Because the three stones (which used to be as stove to
prepare food )are taken away by a rat.I am so sorry for you".So I came back with empty hands along with empty stomach but with heavy sick mind".

   The loving brother hugged her loving sister with a motherly concern," No need to worry sister!Everything will be all right.You are going to meet your refined sister-in-law soon".

   The other day the brother was sitting outside and was watching the passers by.Then he spoke as louder as possible as if he had been speaking to some one else and made sure that his wife was listening to him.It went like this."Oh my God! It is very unfortunate.Tell them not to worry.I will do my best to help them.In fact it is my
solemn duty to be their side at this time".

   Then he came back to his house as quickly as possible with such a gloomy face.On seeing this his wife asked for the reason."You see my dear.It is very unfortunate.I met your (Mentioned the name of one of her birth place man,who also had a close relative in the nearby village) outside who was on his way to visit his relatives to that nearby village.

   "He told that the past one week's heavy rain brought a big collapse to your whole village.The whole village's farm land grains which are about to get harvested are still inside the water which are of no use.I think your family is also undergoing with the same trouble.Even though,even after this one week they didn't ask for any sort of help,it is our moral duty to extend our help in time.So let me visit them first to analyse the situation.Going with bare hand at this state is not at all fair on our part.So let me have something to give them as helping gesture.So be ready as soon as possible with the things what you would like to give them. 

   It is a known fact that she was ready to load the things which a bullock cart could hold them.And it is also a known fact that the bullock cart was heading towards the man's sister's house.

   In the evening when the man came back,his wife asked with all concern about the welfare of her family.The man with the same undoubted gloomy face," What is there to say? If I say what happened, none would believe it.But you should believe".

   Perplexed wife looked at her husband with some panic in her voice,"What happened ?"." Oh my God I couldn't believe my own eyes.On the way,while I was stretching myself under a tree,in front of my own eyes it happened.Giving no chance to any sort of interruption,the man continued, "Do you know what happened?".
"An eagle took away the bullock cart with all the things and in such a speed it vanished in the thin air". 

   His wife with such a wrath,"Do you expect me to believe this?".
Pat came the reply."When you expect me to believe that a rat could take away the three cooking stones means what is wrong in me to expect you to believe this adventure of an eagle?".

  Then no other go for the wife except to mend her ways.  

   

6. To Disclose.

      We people who belong to yesteryears generation,are fortunate enough to have more fun and having more good things to enjoy.As we were having good number of siblings and the joint family system that helped us to have a warmth family atmosphere.But the present generation, compared to us,they are very unfortunate indeed as they are missing abundant characteristic features of a joint family system and with good number of siblings.

   Good number of siblings who are having their own characteristic 
features are in fact a real strength.Indeed,one's inter personal needs and intra personal needs are taken care by their respective characteristic siblings in natural way.Hence almost all sort of problems would be solved among themselves.Only a few unsolved problems would be brought into the judiciary of their parents.So naturally we siblings lead a happy and comfortable and secured life in our own way under the wings of our parents.

   Many times we people wish that our children had enjoyed our way of life. IT IS POSSIBLE.When there is a will,there is always a way.The first step is to be suggested that we parents are to have a goodwill gesture to come forward to create the same warmth family atmosphere what we had experienced.For the sake of our children,
with the same goodwill gesture,we parents are to be ready to maintain a good rapport with our parents and with our own blood and flesh siblings.It is natural for the children to be easy and to feel secure with the relations where their parents feel good.

   The second step is to be suggested that, when we take notice of every family,there would be one big resource is vivid for the up - gradation of the respective family.It may be a movable asset or an immovable asset.The up - gradation is only possible with the open heart of the family members.When we are ready to respect that big resource of our own,our children would be able to come closer in presence of their parents.This closeness would get strengthened in the course of time and it would be strongly recognized even in the absence of their respective parents.It means,through their natural caring and sharing moments they would have a guarantee for a
secured bond among themselves.

   The third step to consider for the sake of children welfare is,we parents with our siblings are expected to come forward to invest a ten percent of their total income for a common venture after a good analysis.Regarding this our very often meetings would also help us to keep us and our children in a close circle of good understanding.
So that our children would have chances to face the things as they come in natural way.

    These suggestions are for the sake of the greater good for our children.As they are having a least chances of having good number of siblings and an unsecured dependence with the external world,
we parents are expected to pave way for our children to have sibling relationship with their maternal and paternal cousins through our own siblings.This is considered to be the first righteousness we give our children to make their days fear free and worry free and but letting them being as happy bees.

    

5.GIRLS AND THEIR PARENTS AND THEIR PARENTS - IN - LAW........

   A GIRL MEANS


                                   G - Granted ( With )

                                  I - Inner Mega power ( Which is )

                                 R - Real (And )

                                 L - Logical 

   1. To Girls ; 

    When every  girl is able to understand that they have been blessed with dual roles accompanied with dual powers,it is well and good.It means, they have been trained meticulously at one place and would be given responsibilities to get gradual practical knowledge in another place.By nature itself, girls are made to feel their one third of presence at their birth place and two third at their destined place.At birth place a girl is considered to be a " Princess "
where as at her destined place she would be a " Queen ". Hence in the prior place she is supposed to made to learn to lay a strong and smart foundation to rule her oncoming territory to maintain an admirable atmosphere " All is well ".

   And in the latter place,she tends to implement all her knowledge and tactics practically to check whether she can make it possible to bring the same and good atmosphere, " All is well " and whether she can stabilise it through her available internal and external resources all through her roles of honour.

   2. To Girls parents;

   It is a known fact that one's religious faith plays major role to lay a strong foundation to every individuals to lead a moral,logical and decent life.Our girls have a beautiful far and wide survival capacity naturally,by spreading their wings of their choice.At the same time,their mere survival doesn't bear any fruit.It is considered to be her parents' humble role to make it very clear that their girls's survival is to be recognised by the strong foundation of their respective religious culture which helps them to lead a moral,
logical and decent life.Then it would be possible for the girls to spread their wings in good determination in all directions and at the same time,it would be possible for all their respective relations to be under their wings with all comforts.

 To the Girls parents -  in law.

   Once girls are elegantly transferred from their parents to the parents - in - law  with a request to help her to march forward with smart strides,through  a good ceremony,the parents - in law are expected to guide them through their good leadership,how to lead a family elegantly and efficiently.Thus, through this the girls are going to be ready to play and honour their respective roles in future with all sort of smartness.This learning,implementation and passing on to the next generation is said to be the way of respecting universal law.

    When this circle is on its way with " Feel the relation  pattern ", then there would  be an ample chance to bring down any sort of complications in every one's family life.Because,in many cases boys are failed to maintained their balance at their sedentary place due to some negative influence caused by some immature girls in their family life.Boys "Balanced position " is very very important in maintaining comforts in one's family.That stable balanced position  of boys can be protected and preserved by these girls who have been given knowledge about their strong moral and logical foundation which would be refined by creating positive chances of implementation.Then they are able to be good leaders and they  are able to create good leaders in future.    

                                 

   

   

4.Every family member..............

   A Humble Request To Every Family Member.  


   Before we begin this topic,first let us have a warm hand shake and a warm hug to every member of our family.In the same way before we get into this topic, let our mind be in the relaxed manner,I mean relaxed to the core as the needle of a  " BALANCE " in its " BALANCED " Position.i.e. no plus" + "  or no minus "  _  "  mindset. Let our mind be in the balanced position i.e. in the " ZERO "position.


   Now here our humble request starts.How? Even though we are the part of our family, we are individuals.Every individual, irrespective of our age,sex, we individuals make a family.After all a family is  nothing but a team.So all individual have their own respective aspirations and their own strategies to achieve their aspirations for a common goal.i.e. "To preserve our Family's Dignity ". Our activities are in the position to bring either positive or negative impact on our family name.i.e on our team's name.If they bring positive impacts mean, then there would be no problem at all.When there would be a state of drawing negative impact by an individual or by the individuals of the family,it could be reconsidered by the individual himself /herself or by the individuals themselves.Because,  , one way or the other,directly or indirectly,as positive impacts,every individual of a family is being responsible for negative impacts also.


    So, the simple strategy to maintain a family as a family i.e. a team as a good team is " Here we go...........".i.e. every individual of a family, with no harms to one's individuality,try our best to arrange for a one to one and face to face interview with our own " INDEX FINGER " minimum once a day.Instead of using our Index Finger on other members of our team i.e other members of our family for, A - for Accusation, B -for Blame Games, C - for Criticizing, and so on......turn the same Index Finger towards us to check our " Index "properly.After all,self care is the best care which leads to team's care to bring welfare to the core.

   

3.To be Patient.

   The word " patient " itself is being impatient when it comes across either one to one meeting or one to many meeting with us at this ongoing swift scenario.Because it thinks we are not at all ready to lend our ears to it.It often wonders," How can I cope with them with no co-operation from their side .Even when they are not at all ready to lend their ears to any simple matters,how can I get them with all their ears for any important matter.

   For any process,if we need a good out put means,we are never supposed to forget to add the ingredient " The Patience ".With no patience,no expected good output.So to bring the output more or less to the satisfactory level,we are to give good consideration to this great ingredient " The Patience ".All right now let me stop beating around the bush.Let me come to the point how to produce this great ingredient and how to stock it for our personal use.

   The first and the foremost step to produce this ingredient for our personal use is, we are to understand that we all are individuals,
irrespective of whatever relation it would be.So every individual has their own views. Depending on their own atmosphere,their views are also would be different.So we are not supposed to emphasise our views on others.In the same time our views and suggestions ( Either positive or negative ) could be put forward with good clarity by analysing the atmosphere,from our point of view.Let the ball in others' court.By doing this we do create an equal opportunity to others to put forward their own views with the same good clarity.So we are to listen to them.We can feel the majestic entry of the great patience.

   Another simple way to make the great patience to stay with us forever is,instead of treating living things into the non-living things,let us treat non-living things into the living things at home and at our working place.( Play grounds are exceptional )I mean not to drag chair and table and so on,not to throw the remote to the sofa,let not allow our children' merciless kicking of their play things. Let us encourage ourselves and our children that non-living things also have all feelings.So,we have to handle the non-living things with all care policy.Once we get ready to handle the non-living things with good care means,naturally we would be ready to handle the living things,I mean our dears and nears with all good care.Because they have real feelings.It seems to help us a lot to be in good terms with that great patience. 

   One of the great example for the greatness of this great patience is when we come across the great leader Gandhi's "Non- Violence " movement.Through this movement,this leader could bring the whole nation under one roof which comes under the category of unity in diversity,to achieve its Independence. This would live for ever with its impeccable foot prints in the inter-national political arena.

     Hence,when a nation can achieve its freedom through this great patience means,no doubt we individuals can achieve this freedom in our precious life in every stage,once we get its importance at proper stage.

Shun the Burden

   We all want to be happy. Indeed we all want to be very happy.It means we need no burden.But actually with or without our knowledge we have been allowing ourselves to get crushed under the known but unwanted burdens.

   What? Are we getting crushed under the known but the unwanted burdens? Yes! Indeed a big " YES ".Still we have no clue 
about this.Usually we are not interested in simple things with good clarity.We  are interested only in complicated things with no clarity.

     All right! Why this suspense unnecessarily which seems to be a burden?.We shall come to the point to point out those unwanted burdens which are all time obstacles to reach out our happiness.


   Those obstacles or the burdens are............Here we go.......

1.Angry, 

2.Envy,

3.Hatred.

    These three are inter related and these are the main burden trees from where many evil branches keep growing.The more they grow the more they drain the happiness at the meeting point,at the point physically as well as at the point mentally.

   So,how to get out of this? Just through the old,simple and elegant method through the way " Nip in the Bud ".We all know that saying is easier than doing.But by real good intention and by real good effort we can shun these burdens. Yes! all evil thoughts which definitely lead to evil acts are the real unbearable burdens.

   Hence,a simple way to shun these burdens is "Let us treat others as ' New ' and let us treat ourselves as ' Smart '.It means,when we meet the people every day,no matter whether they are known or unknown,whether related or not related,we just treat them as a new person and treat our meeting is the first meeting.Once this noble thought enter our mind, naturally,we start behaving as smart as possible with the new persons and naturally good recognition of each others' good qualities would start sprouting and there would be no room for these unwanted burdens.

   So this " Others New and we are Smart "  Policy seems to be good policy for ever.

    

 

      

Perspective Per Person. PPP or Triple ' P '

    Generally we people may come under three types.

1.Positive,

2.Negative,

3.Neutral i.e.not bothering about anything else or anyone else.


   When we talk about the Positive People they generally have some feelings with the respective persons and so they are able to connect themselves with the respective people and with their respective atmosphere.Their positive nature would help them to analyse the persons with their respective atmosphere in the positive way in all situations.So they are able to find out the reasons and at the same time they are able to try their best to find out the solutions to help them,if need arises. i.e. their sincere feelings on others,would make them to step into others' shoes.This situation would lead them to empathy as well as sympathy to bring up or to bring down the respective atmosphere to the balanced atmosphere.In other words,these people are called the ' Peace Makers '.They are block
builders.They are Bricks.
  

2 . Negative people;

   These type of people neither do anything productive nor let other 
people do something productive.They try their best to put barriers in all directions for any sort of productive ambitions.They are the bad ambassadors letting people being in a state of confusion.They let not people to be decision makers.As a result people related to them,tend to loose their self-confidence and let them always being in the square ' A '. And as a result the chances for any sort of up-going are made to be very remote by these sort of negative people.In the presence of these sort of people, peace cannot be achieved at any cost.And naturally no development can be seen. As peace and development are the two sides of the same coin,when there is no chance for the peace,definitely there will be no chance for development.So these type of people are called no doubt ' Peace Breakers '.


3.Neutral people;

   These people of the type that they neither appreciate nor depreciate unless for their own cause.They are very self-centred people.They never hesitate to full-fill their own needs by loosing their own dignity.So,naturally they are least bothered about other's dignity also.Hence,they give least importance to the very basic manners.These sort of self centred people have the talent to exploit and manipulate other people's good nature for their own sake tactically.They never come forward for any good general purpose.Even something is going on wrong in front of them,they wouldn't interfere it unless it directly effects them.So naturally,the wrong going are going on and on under their nose.They just mere spectators.These sort of people are ' Prime crime Developers '. 


   So,let us decide ourselves under which " P " we would like to be.


   

The Goodwill Messengers.

   Last week I visited our native place and stayed there with our relatives for one week.We are staying nearly hundred kilometers away from our native place on account of our occupation.I love to visit my native place as often as possible.Because every time of my visit some good things  are in array to add good memories on my account.

   The last visit happened to be the end of December.At our place there is a custom of performing special pujas for the sake of the heaven from mid December to mid January.It is a belief that during this particular period of these two months Gods and Goddesses do visit us to see the happy livelihood of their beautiful world which has been created by them with all their blessings and imagination to bring prosperity to their dreamland.So at that time,we must welcome them with our impeccable hearts through our spiritual customs,through which we are expressing our sincere thanks to them for their profuse blessings and in the same time expressing our sincere promise to them to do our best to  maintain the same prosperity in God's own beautiful dreamland.One such custom is,all through this one month,the male youngsters and male children of every village get up around 4;30 A.M.

    They commence their prayer at one of the temple in the village on the behalf of the whole village through ear candy chanting.And continue them by covering the whole village with their bare feet.Even though it is severe winter season,I believe that their strong good intention to make the heavenly bodies, happy to the core,who have visited our place, has given them that sort of physical and mental strength.During this period,to bring the chanters some comfort, the whole village serve them with some hot coffee with some hot eatables every day in turn.I enjoyed this visit thoroughly.

   Every time,when I have an opportunity to visit my native place,I am in the same strong belief that these strong and impeccable hearts,who are the practical and real visitors of God,and who are worshipping God on behalf of  all people who are living in and out of the native village, are the real messengers between the God and all sorts of people of their place in bringing goodwill to everyone.


   And one more thing I feel is that the inmates of the village are the chief sources in transferring the basic respective customs and respective culture of a respective clan to the generations after generations smoothly and elegantly.There the civilizations flourishes intact.