1.MATERNAL MEADOWS OF HEAVEN.

MY MATERNAL GRAND FATHER

   My maternal grand parents might have been very proud and happy that they were having thirteen children in their account.On those days a family was considered to be a wealthy family as it was meant with good number of children and with good number of cattle.Then a family was considered to be a bit of royal which came under the same category which mentioned above with some wealth.My maternal grand parents belonged to the second category.

   My grand father was a bit big level agriculturist and a bit of strict personality..He was as usual grand fathers of that period, a hard worker.He went a bit above it..i.e.he came under the title workaholic.He was in the category of wake up bright and wake others also up bright in the morning light.He showered his children with love.If any of his children did spend more time in their field than the usual time they were guaranteed to get more shower of love through various measures.When he was in the field,when the sun set time approached his prime question was why the sun sets?.He was such an ardent lover of agriculture.In this matter half of his children took after him including my beloved mother.

  You can imagine my grand mother's position who was married to such an workaholic personality.Whether it was raining or shining he was very expert in matching the jobs with the members of his family.He was a versatile personality.So depending on the situation and atmosphere, many times training and the related project had been given to his family members in the same time and in the same spot by my wise grand father.At the same time he was giving much importance to education.It was very difficult time for education to establish its own value.He tried his best to give education to his children.

   But during holidays the children must be at their work.This was my grandpa's unwritten law.One day my grand mother seemed to be so tired.She was unable to work on that particular day.It was raining outside.She really wanted to take rest.As our places were situated at hill stations the chillness during the rainy season wooed us to go to bed with one or two quilts.

    I think my grand mother wanted to be under the quilt for some time.It was a day time luxury for her.But my grand father never allowed her to enjoy herself,instead he gave her some sort of indoor work.Here you can imagine my grand mother's level of temperament.She seemed to have bit him to the core.But my grandpa's reaction was as cool as ice.He told as"In whatever way you scold me and in whatever way I scold you they wouldn't have any effect on us.Because we both are working hard for the sake of our beloved children".We can understand the depth of his love on his children.

   Even my grandpa's married daughters used to have their share of work during their visits to their birth place.The poor souls!They had to work hard at their destined place as well as at their birth place.But on their return they would be accompanied with various sorts grains,various sorts of vegetables along with delicious home made snacks for their children.Some times with the help of horse which was the only source of transport, their goods would be carried off to their destined place which were around five kilometers destination with so many ups and downs.Otherwise they should stand on their own feet for their transport.Definitely God might have given some special strength to those pure and good souls.

   My paternal grand parent's house was somewhat big and beautiful.The inmates used to enjoy four meals a day along with milk related delicious food.And they used to enjoy  non-vegetarian meals very well which were rare at that time.The house was always with visitors and children.The visitors who visited us at any time,whether they belonged to our family or not they used to have the same meals what the inmates had which was the custom of that golden period.The house was with full of grains and vegetables,with cattle and rabbits and hens and chicks and with bee hives and with seasonal country fruits and with good care on every one of the family.I felt many times as if I was in the King's palace.

   My grand father did all his best to keep his family a best family in the village.He was so disciplined and so generous.One time one of the villager who had some digestive related problem.For his every day meals he very badly needed curd.They had no cattle.Every day they used to come to our house for the curd. My grand father donated him a cow.He also took care of his brothers's family very well.Still I could remember we used to enjoy our childhood in all his brothers families with no differences.

   My grand father's good and positive efforts not only for the sake of his own family but also for the sake of others,his disciplined life style, his generosity,his simplicity earned a name and fame to himself and to his family.Not only in his own village,in the other neighbor villages, his name itself earned a good respect and so his family.His children were very careful in preserving his father's name and their family name.

   But unfortunately my grand father was not blessed with a long life.But within his given life time he did his best as a human by the grace of God.

   I observed and absorbed what a beautiful family means and the respect it earns.Earning respect only must be the prime duty of a human I realized.

5.PATERNAL PARADISE

MY PATERNAL UNCLES AND AUNTS.

   When I think about my parents and paternal uncles and aunts it is soothing.Even though they belonged to below middle-class  family,even  though they were having so many difference of opinions in the families,which are characteristic features of any family, they were able to manage to travel on their track to preserve their family prestige.They let their track be parallel for good extent.I think that they might have decided not to interfere any one's family matters unnecessarily.When needs arise they might have come together either to solve the problem if it was a problem or celebrate their togetherness to mean what a family really means.

   Even though they were dwelling in the same street,I didn't see them quarreling with each other with war of words or war of actions.The usual family tussles were there but they were not taken seriously.During family occasions and festivals the elders came out with good efforts to  make their children to understand what a family means through which they made room for children to learn basic manners and basic courtesy.

   For example,during get together occasions they made children to be always ready to be at the service of elders.When elders called the youngsters for one reason or the other,they younger must respond in such a way.i.e by answering them,by addressing them with respective relation and must be present there i.e in front of them in no time..i.e as coming mother! coming uncle!coming grand ma and so on.

   While children were having their meals they made to sit in a row and were made to help their younger ones to sit properly and to have their meals properly.When the children were served with some delicious food  served in a common plate, the children were made to know that it was the elder children's moral duty that the elders should leave some extra food for the youngest one of the family.

   The families which were having grand parents,the children of that family whether they in nuclear family or in joint family the children were trained  in such a way to help their grand- parents.Usually the then grand-parents,did their evening worship in an elaborate manner.At that time the children would present themselves there to get the blessing of the God through their grand-parents by letting their head on their grand-parents feet.The children were made to believe that their grand-parents were the messengers of God.

   There will be no partiality or differences had been shown among children.If one went wrong it was mentioned in no time.If the wrong was done by the elder children they were warned by saying that they must be the living good example for the younger ones. If it was by younger he was also warned by advising them to take advise from their elders.

   When any child of the family happened to see his or her father or uncle leaving for the shop they  used to demand for their favorite snacks.  There was some sort of direct supervisions on everyone by every one of the family which brought a security to the whole family  even though we were as nuclear family family in the later stages of life.

   As the agriculture was predominant occupation in our villages,every one of the family from grand parents to grand children had their share of work for their age.As they produced their own food themselves and as the least importance had been given to the education,the usage of money was very limited.When the children were sent to the shops to buy something,they must tally their balance sheet.

   The elders of the family were being good role -models  in strengthening the family bond and to bring a good discipline to family through their every day of life.

   My paternal uncles and aunts who were younger to my parents used to visit my parents every early morning.I think it would have given my ill-health mother a moral support.They had a good respect for my parents.For any sort family matters they left the decision making authority to my parents.My other aunts (My father's sisters, who were destined to others places,were used to visit us very often and used to stay with us and our uncles' family for some time with regular intervals.The good interaction,the sharing of good suggestion, the harmless teasing among themselves were extended  to their children naturally.   

   Thus the children of the families were made to learn caring and sharing,give and take respect,taking responsibilities for their age,developing the helping tendency,ready to correct their mistakes,learn to live with the nature without disturbing it,learn to know the great importance of one's self-esteem and how to honor their roles for the family to preserve the family prestige through their practical learning.

   These were some excerpts from my paternal paradise sweet memories through which I observed and absorbed the values of family what it really means and the values of life.

4.PATERNAL PARADISE

MY ELDEST SISTER

   My eldest sister was a born a HERE I AM CHARACTER.Many times I wonder how it could be possible for a person to be like this with no self interests.She is a boon to our family as well as to her family.No one in our family is not close to this category.

   My sister was my granny's pet.Sometimes I wonder whether she is my granny's pet or my granny is her pet.They were very close to each other.Even though we were nuclear family, at my sister's later period,she was not at all ready to even think about any sort of distance.She wanted to be as usual as before.And fortunately,our three family houses(My father and his two brothers' houses) were situated in the same street.It made her very comfortable.

   Fortunately we three families were in good rapport.The three families never allowed anything even the poverty to come between them.Three family dishes,vegetables, milk,buttermilk,curd,various taste of flours etc were having their journey from one family to the other freely and comfortably.This also made my sister's task very easy.She reserved her share to share with my granny and so my granny was.Their friendly granny and friendly grand daughter relationship was the talk of the village at that time.

   My sister did everything for my granny beyond her age and her ability.She looked after my beloved granny very well and tried her best to fulfill her needs.Every night she said  good night to us and she went to sleep with my granny.And she was also my granny's good entertainer.Many times she used to get nice scolding from my granny as my granny like a child, wet the places where she was.The prime reason for this was my sister's mischievous tongue and action which brought an uncontrollable laughter in my granny that resulted in wetting the places where she was.

   My sister played and is playing my mother's role in our family.From small things to big one from my father to my youngest sister for every one and for everything her HERE I AM  gesture played and is playing a
key role in our family.Whenever she paid her visits to our place from her destined place she used to stay for some days with us.At that times she played the role of a mother to my ill-health mother.Many times I wonder how come it be possible for her to take care of everyone of our family and her family including her kids with good time management skill

   I have never seen my sister in a  non-mobilizing manner.She is a rolling stone.She is with full of beans.She is always busy  either in preparing delicious and healthy dishes for our or her family or being busy with the plants  in our or in her fields.Like my father, she is health conscious and she is keen interested in home made remedies for some health disorders.When any one of our family happen to have any kind of health disorder My HERE I AM sister would be present there either with the related herbs and shrubs or with the related juices made out of these herbs and shrubs.My family members including my father used to say,"I have gained this much kilos ".

   She is darling of our family.For her, family means it is the inclusion of our cattle and hens and chickens.They could also feel her presence through her HERE I AM gesture.At her destined place also she did so many sacrifices for the sake of her family even though they are not up to her level of sacrifices.With no expectations only concentrating her responsibilities for the sake of her and our family prestige,her HERE I AM  nature is really amazing.This must be a nature of an angel.So definitely my sister is also an angel.

   Her HERE I AM nature helped her to be in many reasonable  and recognizing good people's good book.At the same time this wonderful nature of her lead some people to exploit her selflessness and take her ability as granted.At that times I pain more.But in my opinion she is a blessed soul of content with what she has.

    She is the only person who is living up to our parents dignity. Some times she seems to me as one man army which she took after my mother.We all other siblings are yet to be. We are trying to be so.

   I observed and absorbed my eldest sister's effort to keep our family bond thick and deep and for the sake of family prestige she resorted to this HERE I AM technique which has become her nature.I am very proud of her.God may bless her.

 
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3.PATERNAL PARADISE.

MY MOTHER.

    My mother was a born Iron lady.She was born in upper middle class family.At that time it was considered to be wealthy family.Their family  was a  hard working family resorting to their agriculture to some greater extent.So no trace of  poverty.At that time itself they were having four times meals a day where at my mother's destined place two times meals were not sure.My mother's family owned a house which was somewhat bigger  with abundant cattle,hens and chicks and some rabbits.So delicious milk related foods and non-vegetarian foods were prepared very often.

   Rarely wealth and discipline and generocity go hand in hand.But my maternal grand parents made it possible.So naturally they had good name and fame in their village.

   Even though my mother  was from a wealthy family,sometimes  I think that my mother had no knowledge about it.But she was very conscious to preserve her family name and fame.Naturally she took after her family in hard working.In other words she was a workaholic.

   When she was married off to  my father in her fifteenth year before to attain her puberty,I think she felt lonely.Because she was born with ten siblings.Really it would be so difficult for her to  mingle with this limited persons with some sort of silent atmosphere.Even though my paternal grandmother belonged to her own village she found no comfort with her.

   It was told so.In those days of heaven,the senior citizens of any village who happened to visit other villages for various reasons,it was a custom as moral responsibility that they had to visit to their villager daughters who were destined to that particular village.Many times many visited my mother.At that time it was told so that my mother holding their dresses tightly,with burst out crying,asking them,"father I will come with you.
Please take me with you.Please father, please father".On seeing her heart rendering crying, the senior citizens who belong to her own village cursed my maternal grandfather for sending  this tiny fair little girl away in the name of marriage.They tried their best to console her.

    Many times I wonder how come that  tiny little soul became with this much will power as one man army.
As my father was away from our village for the sake of his business,she individually and independently took care of her family and her field,and our cattle and of course some hens and chicks.When scarcity arise she never hesitate to take other people's fields on rental basis.

   One time one of  the friend of my father,asked my father"How come you be so carefree in doing your business with no worries about your family"? My father,"My wife is there to take care of everything".For everyone for everything his answer would be like this.One day the particular friend happened to meet my mother,and she was introduced to him.He couldn't believe his eyes.How come this tiny fragile lady able to manage all by herself being in the good books of many people of her own and neighboring villages.

   When she was reaching her middle age she was diagnosed with severe heart problems.Her will power alone let her undergo two major heart surgeries with long intervals.

   My father was counting his days.But my mother took care of him very well along with her mother and with her siblings.Her deep love and respect on my father made her to be an angel at that time.Nobody could believe that she was a heart patient taking regular treatment with regular check-ups and medicines.The love she reserved for my father gave her that much strength to do the all rituals after his death which were some sort of long process but she could manage it.

   When her pain was beyond the limit only  she came out with it.Her will power made her to sustain the heart related other pains also.She never wanted to be a burden to anyone due to her ill health condition,she maintain her health with some care.She was very strict in her diet related instructions given by the doctors.

     My mother was very fond of her family.Some times I think she was unable to recognize the impeccable love showering on her by her dears and nears due to her heavy responsibilities.She was a living  example for her simplicity,her way of taking responsibilities,her hard working nature and of course the power within that fragile body.

     I observed her will power and absorbed the strength within it.

2.PATERNAL PARADISE

2.MY PARENTS.

   When I think about my parents,I am so proud of them.And also I have a strong feeling that as their daughter I have two moral duties.

First I have to preserve the beautiful colors of their self-esteem and their meaningful life i.e their value based life which should be maintained  with the same value at least for my life time.i.e. I am not supposed to bring any harm to their names as a daughter.

Secondly being their daughter I have to earn some  respect to my name and to add some in their names.Yes. their way of leading their life which left some foot prints in me, brought this strong feeling into me.

MY FATHER

   He was  a born Gentleman  and a born generous.Even though he was stricken by the poverty,he was conscious about his self-esteem and his family's self-esteem.He was a small  scale potato merchant and his office was situated in about sixty kilometers from our village.He visited our native village once in a week or once in a fortnight depending on the seasonal harvest of the potato.In his business he was able to be in some people's good book due to his genuine nature.

   Sometimes due to lack of money for some rotation, he had to face some people's anger for his belated payments.However he was able to preserve his self-esteem.Sometime he had to go after some people who got advance promising to send their yield after their harvest and failed to keep their promise by sending their yield to other merchants for their other monitory benefits or for some other reason.Even at those times,he was able to preserve his self-esteem

   He was neat and very tidy person.Being himself in milky white shirt and dhoti he wanted his home and its surroundings to be neat and tidy.Whenever he visited our hometown, whoever he met either his dears and nears or his neighbors or people belong to his own village or known village his inquiry would be milky white as his attire. His interaction with children at home and children of of our street  would be very comical.I enjoyed listening it

   During his visits to our native place he never failed to spend some quality time with my granny with a big pocket of tobacco which were usually munched joyfully by the grannies of those days.His love- bond with our family was spectacular.He maintained a good rapport with his brothers's and sisters' families and guided us to maintain the same with good tactics.

   Even though I had limited chances to enjoy all these as I was living with my maternal Uncle and Aunt(my God parents) I could preserve those sprinkled moments within me.

  .His sayings were beautiful.His usual sayings were 1.If we try to save our money and meals at the cost of our self-esteem means it is of no use.With that useless money and meals we let ourselves down.Then there will be no meaning in our life.

2.Even if we are indebted for the sake of our parents it wouldn't take much time to clear the debts.

3.We must live on our gratitude

    At his eighteenth year he was married to a fifteen year old girl who belonged to a wealthy family.( I still wonder how come it would  be possible for my maternal grand father to give his eldest  fair and beautiful  daughter to an ordinary farmer at this young age?May be this is called destiny.) The reason for this early marriage was at that time my paternal grand mother got hurt with her one eye sight  by a bull during the de-husking process in agriculture.As my father was the eldest one naturally  with no other go but had to marry for the sake of his parents.

   After his marriage he and his family were came under the wings of my maternal grand-parents.But my father knew his boundaries and his limitations.Even though many times his poverty made him unwillingly  to
cross his boundaries and limitations, he was able to manage to preserve his self-esteem through various valid principles.

   My mother was diagnosed as heart patient at her middle age.She underwent a major heart surgery at that time.She had been hospitalized for nearly one year for various reasons.At that time my God's son father took the role of mother both for our family and for my mother.

  My father was interested in ventures.But his poverty never allowed him to explore.He was ardent fan of foot-ball who himself was a player. where ever the foot-ball matches are going on in and around of our location  he was willing to go there.Sometimes it was possible and sometimes not.But he let it go.

   He had to say good bye to his business to take care of my mother.Even though it was his dream he had no regrets for the same.I could understand the depth and the thickness of his love-bond towards his sweet heart and his family.But the day when I saw the remaining parts of his business related things which reached our home, my grief was beyond any explanation.

   He is a health conscious person.But he was bed-ridden for more than three months. seventy percent in the hospital and thirty percent at home.But he showed  no pain for any thing .I think this is the reason for his contented life.He seemed to have taken the things as they are.My maternal family recognized his simplicity,his generosity,his care for all nature and they honored him very well.My maternal grand mother even at her ripe age she was by her eldest son-in-law and her eldest daughter side from the day one when my father was hospitalized.After his funeral only she left for her place.

    I observed these precious moments of these relationships and absorbed the values within me.

 

 

 

1.PATERNAL PARADISE

1.MY GRAND PARENTS.
                                         I have no idea about my grand father but I have heard about him a lot.He had three sons and two daughters.Even though he had eight children he had been blessed with only five children.
When ever I would like to know about  him the familiar fact about him was put forth in the first place.The fact is that we had a giant buffalo which could be milked only by my grand father means you can understand his power of authority and temperament.As usual  as all our native villages, in our villages agriculture is pre-dominant.So naturally he was  a hard worker
.
   We belong to lower middle class family.The  beauty at our native places at that time was there was no difference between rich and poor.Some exceptions were there.But the whole village's caring and sharing was an admirable one.Here goes like this.

A stranger entered the village.The first question from the first villager who noticed the stranger the usual dialogue went like this
.
VILLAGER: Hello how are you?How about a cup of coffee or meals?(Villages were at that time quite familiar for their hospitality.The strangers were either served with coffee or meals  to match their visiting time) STRANGER: Fine.Thank you.What about you.

VILLAGER: I am also fine.By the way may I know who you  are?Where are you coming from?  Which house you would like to visit?In that house which person you want to meet?On what purpose?when the villager was satisfied with the stranger then only he would be allowed  allowed to move further.Till the stranger reached the destination of the house which he had to visit he had to face this sort of en query along with the same warm hospitality

   And more over within the streets or within the villages give and take policies were very common with their excessive things.It could be milk,butter,butter milk,green leaves,grains,flours and special meals and even guests and so on.So in this atmosphere, it wouldn't be so difficult for my grand parents to lead a decent life with that below middle class set-up.

   I came to know that they were made for each other.My granny was said to be very polite and she was very conscious about my grandpa's health.Till he finished having his meals she was by his side with her special hospitality.But I doubt about his hospitality towards my granny.

   I could vaguely remember my granny.She was fair with medium height who was an ever ready laughing person.My loving eldest sister's pet.Many times my sister got nice scolding from my granny  for her mischievous effort to make my nanny to have a hearty laughter which led my granny to wet the place where she was like a child.My loving granny showed no partiality among grand children.

   Whenever she found time,mostly on our summer holidays,she called us and checked our heads for lice and applied plenty of oil and combed and irritated us with the tighten plaits.She gave all of us small small pots to fetch  water from the common tap to fill the three houses bigger pots.My father was the eldest one and has two brothers.My grand parents were staying with his youngest brother..But that made no difference

.Even though I was not fortunate to have good times with my grand father as he left this world and my granny a bit early,As I was brought up by my maternal uncle and aunt,  my interactions with my granny were limited.But I could spend some quality time with my grand mother during summer holidays and family get together.

   It was told that  as  our basic occupation is agriculture, every one in the family had to work hard.But no sufficient meals as they were  as a big joint family for quite a long time in the beginning.My granny"s tactic was to serve meals as side dish and green leaves as main dish to suppress the poverty.

   During de husking process her one eye got hurt by bull's horn.She lost her one eye sight.She got operated but it was no use.But she made herself to live with  the other eye comfortably. Our three family houses are in the same street situated as neighboring house.So whatever special meals prepared  in these three houses they were first sent to my granny to taste or she would be invited to taste depending on the day and night.

   When she was counting her days I visited her.At that time I was  in my seventh standard.Nearly one week or so we had so many visitors.In one side prayer songs were going on for peaceful departure of her soul which are common rituals at our native places.My cousins also visited.Their very often visits made them so close to my granny than me.They cried uncontrollably.Especially my eldest sister who was married off  just three months back at that time,was very upset.No one was able to console her.I myself was a silent spectator which seemed odd for that atmosphere.Somebody told my granny that I had no sufficient love for her.My granny told them how come you say that from outside? Our blood and soul feel each other.

    The time when she left us,I felt that uncontrollable grief in me and that brought out the pain of my heart through my out burst crying.Everything was over.But she gave me a satisfaction as if I was being with her and with my grand father through her memorable activities.Thank God.

   I feel very bad when I think about  this generation that they are having either least chance or no chance to be  with their grand parents to feel their pure and intimate love.Their moral support  is very creative one. Being a bridge between  parents and their children they make a family with its real meaning.i.e.Every one is there willingly for every one and for every thing.

   By God's grace when our children are blessed with them we parents are not supposed to be barriers .We must build bridge between them  which will help our children to lead a value based life and also it helps them to face the things as they come.More over when we respect that grand parents relations  it will help us to leave a ever green foot print of family bond through generations after generations.


































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4.The road ahead

Now the Lady is able to streamline  her day to-day schedule.With the help of her mind's guidance and encouragement  and sometimes in reversal she is able to plan to her capability. Now she has realized that instead of making some efforts to get help from her own family members to make her day a day, she let herself to be granted for everything. At one time  she feels so lonely and feels that her life seems to be having no values.
Now she is able to categorize what her needs are and how they can be fulfilled.
The wonderful Lady finds out that her MIND IS A ONE MAN ARMY.When she is ready to learn or  do something, her mind is always there to help her to bring the related resources.
The lady now decides to strengthen herself in three fields.
1.INTERNALLY.
   As she feels herself and her mind are within God's proximity there will be no need to fear or hesitation.She and her mind can  plan for a day's venture with  available resources in a relaxed manner.Because in their Kingdom they are the Queens and ministers and servants.She decides to complete minimum one task a day with the help of her friendly mind.
2.EXTERNALLY
    The Lady is very ready to seek or give any help to her beloved family members in recognize and be recognized way.Moreover she decides to speak out wherever she need to speak to establish her stand for the welfare of herself and for her family.She feels it would help herself to save  her self- respect and also it also avoids to let herself to be taken as granted for everyone and for everything in her family.That leads to help her to have some leisure and valuable time to rejuvenate herself.When suitable time comes she can help others to get themselves strengthened with her and her mind's available tactics and resources.
3.FINANCIALLY
   The lady feels this way.Using one's talent  outside home for financial comfort is one way of earning.Using one's talent inside home by saving money is another way of earning. Yes she is going to be a master in her sewing skill and she will be ready with her homemade dresses for herself and for her family members.She decides to teach this skill to any one who are interested by collecting reasonable fees.Even though there is no need for any more earning from her she wants to stand on her own feet.Even it is a single penny,when it comes from her own effort with the help of her mind it means her a lot.Here she put a dot for a venture.Her wonderful,friendly mind will drag the dot into a long line within the line there will be many more ventures.
Let God bless them to set their foot-print for the people who really want to be like them.

                                                           GOOD BYE FRIENDS